Christmas 2010

            Thanks Giving was good for us and now our Daughter Lisa and James (her husband) were coming to visit us for Christmas. Sharon and I were hoping around as this seemed to be becoming one of the best holidays in a long while Our Son and Daughter in law as always invited us into their home, they have been preoccupied with every day stuff ,or maybe Sharon and I are just not the middle of the universe only our own small one  as far as family coming from far away places.    
            Alaina our Granddaughter here in town was growing up so fast if I blink and each time I blink she changes now to a young woman and I am curious how this holiday goes for her , she reminds me of  Lisa when she was that age and I wonder how they will get along.
            Jj (James) and Lisa wanted to go to the coast so it was decided that we would head to Savanna a day or so after they got here from here we were to head to Ty be island and the beach...
More tomorrow          

Can't keep a goodman down

            That made me wonder and worry a little. The nurse came back in a few seconds bringing me to the examining room where the duty Dr. asked me how I got to the office that morning. When I told him I had driven he seemed shocked. He told me that he had called ahead to the hospital down the street and I was to be admitted right away and I was not to drive.
            Now I was more that a little worried the Dr said that I had a bleed and had lost more than half my Blood supply. He explained that from a simple blood test, the number of certain cells in a fixed volume of blood when measured against a previous known value would show how blood I had lost.
           I had been digesting my own blood.
           I Called Sharon leaving a message on the phone and Drove over to the Hospital walked in and was met at the door by a gurney. I said that I felt good and was told to lay down and I was given a shot taken upstairs where a transfusion was started. Sometime later Sharon came in with a friend that I had called when I couldn't get hold of her on the phone. The friend,  ( Joann ) picked Sharon up at our house.
           I had been put on Tranquilizers to keep me from leaving the Hospital. They let me go on Monday after two units of packed red cells.                

Lost it all

            I wasn't completely over the barrel but close to it, an agreement was accepted, We wouldn't be getting all of  the stuff that had been offered but the cash was close so we took it. Of course if I known that I would live for sure I may still not have settled. 
            So plans were made, we would head out to California. In the back of my mind I would kick around the idea of going back to work or School. I thought of Physicians assistant, it might work, I seemed to have a knack for it.
            A date was set and we continued packing then on a Wednesday two weeks before we were to leave; early that afternoon I found it harder and harder to catch my breath I had a force five headache and I was moving slower Sharon ask me to just set down saying that I looked like hell. In the bathroom mirror was some one I barely recognized I was pale almost white with huge dark circles around my eyes.
            Some times during Chemo I felt like this, I would go for a walk deep breathing and it seemed to work so I told Sharon I was going for a walk after I called the Doctor. The office was closed by then, I left a message and headed on down the road, a few blocks later I stopped wondering if I could make it home. I tried wrapping a sofa in shrink wrap that night and could barely stand. Sharon demanded that I get to bed but laying down scared me.
              The next day the headache remained but I was feeling a little better and could eat a little breakfast by two that after noon I was starving feeling better still I drove down to Burger King and helped my self  to a Wapper and fries. The head ache was gone and I could walk around the house with out gasping for breath.
                As Thursday night rolled around the doctor called asking me to come in the next day I did not take the call but took the message on my answering machine.
                Friday morning I felt like I might live after all, hopped in the car and drove to the Dr.. I had given Blood a little for some simple test and was setting in the waiting room when the nurse I had seen many times ran up to me giving me a very personal hug started to cry and ran out of the room.                             

Had to write this

            Tonight we have an older citizen working a filibuster to try and correct an injustice.
            For our leaders, the idea is not to pave the way to next years election but to serve the American people. to do their best all the time to serve this nation.
            The republican party used extortion to obtain vast benefits for the very wealthy.
           The people who need the extra money least with the threat of cutting off the life's blood this year,, the only income  for Millions of Americans, got their way and are as guilty as the lowlife that would kidnap your family and hold them for ransom.       

We can do this; further story of cancer

            Earlier I had written that Mike and Twana were to come to Knoxville to get a start in that area and now we really didn't have any future in Tennessee; me literally and Sharon figuratively. At that time we talked of Augusta but it was some place where Sharon didn't want to go. We had fallen in love with  Ali and Aliana, Ricks Ladys  but that didn't change Sharon's mind She also was not fond of Missouri.
            Mike said,  Dad come live with us, Twana was pregnant With Chloe and Sharon could be of help with the Girls so plans were made to get rid  of most of our stuff, the house and most of what we had collected in the last ten years The rest of the stuff,?  Load it into a truck on the way to California
           My guys, in this cast the men who worked for me were to come to our house in the last week before we left to collect our leavings one of the things I had to do was to go downtown and try and close out the lawsuit that I had filed against the local hospital. Knowing that I would have to swallow my remaining pride When I arrive in the law offices my old adversary, (The lawyer I had met in court who tried squash the case) let me know up front that he was aware of my current status including leaving the state..                    

Another look Where are we headed

            The old Soviet Union didn't come to an end by the roar of western tanks or the Blast of hydrogen bombs but by internal strife, the desire of one group to triumphal over others in supposedly the same nation The fuel for the break up was greed. and Religious fervor.
           In the beginning of that lost Nation, the way to accommodate all of the Religions in that huge area was disallow any. This was to try and avoid the Wars fought in the various names of God. All the same God of course, but for each groups idea of God. So no God allowed, No war.  However This was a very bad idea You (the State) doesn't have the power to tell people what to believe; now if they had tried to Do this the way the US had done by Allowing All but endorsing none that would have helped them stay in Business a little longer  
           The Soviet Union set on vast wealth all in the hands of the state and officials of that State controlled Portions of that wealth Some of those officials pushed to over throw the State and doing so some proclaimed them selves owner of that wealth. Some now very Rich.
          Sadly now in our Nation the ugly head of Greed takes us over. Our nation was strong, where a Family of modest income could provided the material goods that our Society demands. However this cut into the profits of The upper one percent so US businesses closed and with the support of our Government moved operations off shore.   That is Greed for Power, Greed for wealth (How much wealth is enough) are we doomed to be a failed state Broken up by the greed of a few who say that it is unfair to pay their Share to live in this Great Country.
               As for the Freedom of  Religion; Some of us think that some Religions should be more free than others.                   


 

Eyes shut and ears plugged

     Common sense seems to have left our country, negotiations are on going to address our future and we the people are sitting with our eyes closed and hands over our ears. George H W Bush raised Taxes while in office to help rescue our country from a huge deficit left by the Reagan administration Then Bill Clinton again raised Taxes and the Country took off finely generating a surplus for the first time in untold years There have been cryings that this was done on the backs of the rich and the welfare, the well being of our nation should not rely on Taxes from the upper one percent to help carry that load. Our upper one percent  decided to take their business interest to other play grounds (Over Seas) so using any excuse they started flipping off the USA (the American people). Then George W Bush   with the approval of The Congress and Senate removed the basis, revenue,  for the our prosperity buying us off  for a few hundred dollars each, ( remember the checks ) using the notion that we as a nation could borrow what ever money we needed. Now we as a nation are broke and refuse to watch the further dismantling of our nation with our eyes shut and ears plugged...          

How I survived Cancer and other stuff,, lots of other stuff.

            While we were in Augusta at this time Sharon became sick weather it was a bladder infection of some sort we are not sure and we ended going to the emergency room in the middle of the night. The on duty nurse that night couldn't get a good reading from the blood pressure cuff on Sharon's upper arm So she, in her Brightness decided to take it on Sharon's wrest and actually placed it, the cuff partially on Sharon's hard watch bracelet and proceeded to pump it up pushing the bracelet into Sharon's Arm.
            That Christmas continued in this manner until after the New Year.
            We got home where I was called into a meeting where my Old buddy Tom said that they had decided to make some changes and my Job as Maintenance Director would end as that position was to be eliminated. A new HR person was in place and at the meeting  and was saying that She would be doing the compliance work like it was done usually at most firms. On top of every thing else this came  hard and at that moment I could have removed all present from this world to the next.               

How I survived cancer continues

During all this time I had tried to keep working while in the hospital I would answer questions about my job like when were reports to be written for QSHA. At most jobs these reports are done by HR but some how I ended doing all correspondence with OSHA (occupational safety and health agency). When I started that job, the Company  (US Food Service) was under a huge fine for noncompliance I wrote the procedures identified and arranged the training and hired the people to implement the program. I got the fine reduced and the head of HR fired,of course that didn't go over too well with some of the folks in management. The first thing they did was send Sharon and I to the Fort Mill plant in near Charlotte to set up the new program The plant manager there, Tom Mallernee did not like the idea of the Maintenance Director having as much power as the plant manager that led to him being replaced there by Dan Ellis the Maintenance Director. As fate would have these things  2 years later Tom Mallernee was hired as plant manager and after a year fired the Plant Manager Scott Read in Alcoa, where I worked. And after the second bout with cancer and his boss about to be fired Tom dissolved my Job position he couldn't fire me as I had cancer that was against the law but he could make my job go away ( same thing).
            I was still going back and forth every day never for a minute forgetting what I was up against
            Sharon wasn't at all happy. what ever plans we tried to make kept getting dashed.
           Christmas time came in 2001 and much of it is a blur The Chemo that I was now on (an antimetabolite) Zeloada was taken by mouth. We were going to have a good Christmas we had driven to Augusta Ga. to be with Rick Ali and Lainey We had dinner with them that night and at this point I am not sure if it was two days before Christmas or not, I think so. My hands and feet started to swell my fingers looked like little balloons I had my Doctor's number in Knoxville he told me not to take the Chemo Drug  again as this was a bad reaction to it.                     

How I survrived Cancer , The on going tale

           Rather than be afraid after the initial shock; I knew that I could still beat this. My Foot had healed some what I would work on this as hard as the first time. This time though I couldn't give my own blood for the surgery as they wanted to do it right away .
           Jim Bakker and Jay young would not be the surgeons this time they both took their leave of me saying that they had done all that they could do and something like take care.I thought Assholes.
           I met the new Dr. Gregory Midis; he was to remove the cancer from my liver and this would be done at the Baptist Hospital again in Down town Knoxville.
           What could go wrong, piece of cake. I awoke in Intensive Care my chest hurt like hell, Sharon and Rick were there. Oh I was happy to see them the Dr. the Anesthesiologist  came in saying, "sorry about the ribs we broke some with the chest plate", another WTF moment. All I remember after that was the closeness of Sharon with me all feelings no thoughts.
           A day or so later I think two days maybe I was moved to a room with another person who seemed a little too happy I wondered what drugs he was on.
          The second day in the room I was wakened by the nurse telling me to get up I was so weak I could no lift my arm and it was very hard to breath I told the nurse that something was wrong. She said,"your fine now get up" I could barely speak I said call my wife she told me that when I got up she would. I told her call my wife then I will get up she did, I told Sharon to call The Dr. something was wrong after a few more words Sharon agreed to call the Dr. I was feeling weaker when the phone by the bed rang I could not reach it. The nurse who was still in the room handed me the Phone it was Mike calling from California when he heard me he said he would call the Dr.
           Next thing I know two nurses was looking through the stuff that came up with me from intensive care and they are arguing about some thing The next I remember was Sharon with me saying that the Hospital had Fucked up the electrolytes I needed had been lost I had not had them for two days, telling me that she was sorry I was just happy to still be talking             
               

Funny things you think of First thing in the morning

In the last few years dark matter has been identified or acknowledged, now antimatter. The question asked is why the loss of symmetry between matter and antimatter. Einstein coined a word LAMBDA (anti gravity)the force pushing all things apart; So If all things we think we know of the universe are true, the universe is enclosed by a cloud of antimatter expanding dragging the universe out with it... ((This is just food for thought))    

A whole lot of pain

            The good feelings continued; Sharon and believed that we had found a house and started to work on that.
            In the meantime I received a call from the clerk of the court saying that, that afternoon there was to be a hearing to kill my suite she had it scheduled for late afternoon. I rushed home changed clothes and was in the courtroom with an hour to spare. When the case was announced low and behold one of the attorneys I had asked to take my case was representing the hospital.  The judge was seated he ask for parties for both sides to approach the bench the attorney stood saying that he didn't believe that the other side was there. I stood saying," I am here judge", this is the first time I have ever seen any one do a double take in the end the case went forward but there was another attempt to squash the case before it was settled.
             On my visit to the Dr.   in August I was told that he wanted to send me in go for a PET scan at the University of Tennessee medical canter because the CEA readings were going up and something was wrong.
I had to fast for two days then I was to get a shot of Radioactive Sugar Sharon did not stand too close when I started setting off  radiation alarms in the area. I clearly had cancer in my liver.      
            

Life goes on

        In February I lost the bag and got all my workings back and felt good to go only in a short time to head back to Massachusetts as Sharon's Father had died.  
       On top of My cancer weighing on Sharon both of her parents had died in the last few years, each event chipped away a little more of her spirit.
        For a while though I felt good to have a little bit of hope, some how I would lick this thing. So Sharon and I started looking for a house to buy, I had dreams of some thing big enough that all our family could stay over for the holidays lots of land but reality was a 1980ties split level with little maintenance that wouldn't cost a lot.
       We had stayed in communication with the kids through out this time taking it one day at a time. The Bank had approved our loan although we hadn't found a house yet We knew that all would be good.
      The work was good there was talk of Sharon and I going to The Ft. Mill US Food service plant again there was a problem that needed work I had been there once before and was thinking about maybe a transfer there, but I had not told Sharon about it yet as I really like it where we were.
          The CEA readings ( These are cancer markers in my blood that were taken every month) were going up, not a good sign.
         At the same time I had contacted several attorneys in Knoxville trying to find one who might take a malpractice suit against Fort Saunders hospital to address the insulin issue. After being refused by The big law offices in town  I finely found one that would take the case all was well. Then in June I was told that he the lawer felt he could no longer represent me as I had no permanent injury. I decided the File my self (ProSa); So off to the court library to look at cases and how it's done.  I Found that I needed to file this as an assault and when I was finished with in a few weeks the Hospital wanted to settle of Course I didn't at that time.