Lost it all

            I wasn't completely over the barrel but close to it, an agreement was accepted, We wouldn't be getting all of  the stuff that had been offered but the cash was close so we took it. Of course if I known that I would live for sure I may still not have settled. 
            So plans were made, we would head out to California. In the back of my mind I would kick around the idea of going back to work or School. I thought of Physicians assistant, it might work, I seemed to have a knack for it.
            A date was set and we continued packing then on a Wednesday two weeks before we were to leave; early that afternoon I found it harder and harder to catch my breath I had a force five headache and I was moving slower Sharon ask me to just set down saying that I looked like hell. In the bathroom mirror was some one I barely recognized I was pale almost white with huge dark circles around my eyes.
            Some times during Chemo I felt like this, I would go for a walk deep breathing and it seemed to work so I told Sharon I was going for a walk after I called the Doctor. The office was closed by then, I left a message and headed on down the road, a few blocks later I stopped wondering if I could make it home. I tried wrapping a sofa in shrink wrap that night and could barely stand. Sharon demanded that I get to bed but laying down scared me.
              The next day the headache remained but I was feeling a little better and could eat a little breakfast by two that after noon I was starving feeling better still I drove down to Burger King and helped my self  to a Wapper and fries. The head ache was gone and I could walk around the house with out gasping for breath.
                As Thursday night rolled around the doctor called asking me to come in the next day I did not take the call but took the message on my answering machine.
                Friday morning I felt like I might live after all, hopped in the car and drove to the Dr.. I had given Blood a little for some simple test and was setting in the waiting room when the nurse I had seen many times ran up to me giving me a very personal hug started to cry and ran out of the room.